I hate... [20 Mar 2010|04:17pm] nex995 guys who give the "peace sign" in every picture taken of them and guys who drink mixers aka pussy liquor. feel guilty

11 before 7 [16 Mar 2010|03:42pm] nex995 Have you ever been discriminated against? Funny how it was called Lied (pronounced Leed)... Funny how much lying happened there... Funny how I turned out... Funny how no one helps the miserable... Funny how the peaceful get attacked... Funny how words hurt more than sticks and stones... Funny how hate is transformed into motivation. Taught to be by a man who is just like me. If you had a chance to redeem yourself of a pathetic time in your life, would you take it? Or would you let it slip away? Calm on the outside...Motivated on the inside. Innocence is destroyed in a slow painful process...unwillingly and unknowingly...but it leads to strength...emotion-numbing strength If you have felt pain, then why would one not develop tolerance or even avoidance of such? PS. This blog = remnant of my mind. The riddles of my time. The music that my head writes...by itself. Havent slept in at least 2 days...been drinking more than I should. feel guilty

We all have secrets, [16 Mar 2010|03:24pm] nex995 We all have secrets. We all have problems. Only one person has ever known what I am and by God's virtue he no longer lives on this earth. Such irony is hard to ignore. Such coincidences defy logic. I always wonder if there are such things as coincidences. I wonder about my fate. I wonder about my destiny, if there is such a thing. I wonder how everyone around me lives blind to the hidden truth. I wonder how no one can sense it...that this world, this life is hiding something that we cant see; but we can sense it. Its part of that human sense..we know something is hiding and we have no idea what it is. I wonder how feel morality, pain, love, and other emotions so complex that i doubt that they are necessary for survival in the most biological and evolutionary sense. I wonder...can we sense others' secrets? Can we sense others' complex emotions? Can we sense intentions, hate, love, etc? I wonder about all this, and I drive myself insane because the scientist in me wishes to test all of these hypothesis. Only one problem: I can't. feel guilty

Next episode pt2 [12 Mar 2010|09:40pm] nex995 Juan Lupon... feel guilty

Next episode [09 Mar 2010|04:47pm] nex995 My names for different occasions: Nex BioHaZerd N3X El Chele ...cte DrKSde Just for the record, 1 feel guilty

New personal goals and ideas! [07 Mar 2010|06:45pm] nex995 I want to learn to ride a streetbike. THIS summer! I want to learn to ride one. Then I want to buy a 2008-2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r! The perfect starter bike! I researched it! Man, I cant wait! feel guilty

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